Happy New Year! Wow, does 2017 feel good! This is the year!
This is the year that I get organized. This is the year that I'm on time. This is the year that I finish that second book series and blog every week and revamp my work/life balance and make delicious dinners from scratch and get into incredible shape and ...
You get the idea.
The thing is, it's a totally fresh start, which is a beautiful thing. I felt like 2016 was a long, painful slog through a swamp of dread. I don't know if it was just that I kicked off the year with a surprise appendectomy, or the toxicity of the political climate sank into my skin, or what; but I do know that I felt like the entire year was spent in the trash dump of the Death Star.
I felt like I was trying to keep myself afloat above disgusting, stinking garbage and, just when I thought I'd found my balance, I would hear, "There's something alive in here!" and be pulled under until every pore, every hair was drenched in muck. I would come up for air just in time to be pulled down again. And, finally, when I'd fought back to the surface, the walls came closing in on me. Yes, 2016 was rough.
Now, if you know me, you'll know that I am generally an "Unsinkable Molly Brown" type. My husband calls me a "sunshine-rammer", which is a term I'm not particularly fond of, but can't deny. If you give me lemons, I'm generally going to make lemonade, lemon squares, and a lemon meringue pie just for kicks. Then I'll use the rinds for some kind of art project, preferably incorporating my children's fingerprints, turning them into a keepsake that I'll cherish forever.
2016 threw me off of my game. I was prepared for lemons and I got hit with eels. And there aren't that many Pinterest-worthy things you can make with eels.
Then, something changed. I don't know what it was, but about three weeks ago, I felt a shift within myself. (For those of you wondering, no, I haven't changed my diet or my schedule or anything else.) I woke up one morning, and the sunshine-ramming girl was back! But different.
I'm waking up as a warrior. I'm on fire. My hands are hot to the touch. I'm brimming with energy at all hours. My husband has to remind me to go to sleep. It's like I spent 2016 forging an internal armor that keeps heat churning.
I told my co-workers last week that I am firing on all cylinders right now, so watch out world. 2017, I am coming for you!
I am soaking in being with my young kids and their antics. I am actively using my voice (I already have drafts of six more posts, so consider yourself warned). I am prioritizing creation and art in my life. I am trusting God to provide the path and giving myself space to see it. I'm shedding the self-doubt, the fear. I told a friend yesterday that I feel like I'm molting. I'm moving into a fresh skin of not giving a flying flip about what other people think and living my truth and it feels good. Like, really, really good.
So, this is the year. I may not accomplish everything on my list, but, then again, I might. And more. Yes, 2017, I am coming for you. You are officially on notice! [mic drop]